Stop the Spinning
When every podcast, post, and expert says something different, how do you know what’s right for your business? Here’s a way to cut through the noise.
It’s nighttime, you’re exhausted from a busy day of juggling work and life and family, and you sit down to relax for a few minutes, phone in hand. You start scrolling, and pretty soon you see a reel telling you that, if you’re not posting three times a day, your business is destined to fail. It doesn’t help that this is interspersed between posts and reels of people you know, doing something similar to what you’re doing, posting multiple times a day. Or so it seems. You realize the creeping feeling of inadequacy is not helping you relax, so you switch over to your email. You open a newsletter that says email is the only strategy that actually converts, but only if you send high quality content on a consistent basis, offer a lead magnet that leads to a five-email sequence to convert sales, etc etc etc. Never mind that you didn’t start your business to spend 90% of your time creating online content. You put your phone down and decide to binge Netflix instead. But you can’t escape the messaging. Tomorrow on your commute you hear a podcast that insists no one reads anymore, YouTube is the key to growing your customer base. Meanwhile, successful friends you know insist this is just the world we live in today. If you want to start or grow a business, you have to be “out there” on social media, email, YouTube, LinkedIn, you name it. Does Substack count? It seems to have escaped the radar so far. Maybe.
So you decide to be a grown-up about it and tackle the challenge head on. And maybe I should speak for myself because that’s whose experience I am talking about, of course. I have spent hours researching platforms, signed up for courses and then changed my mind and requested refunds, read advice from experts who are widely published on the subject, and created spreadsheets to compare and contrast the options. This is all well and good, but nothing actually moves forward. (For how to break through this, see my first post, Just Start.)
This firehose of endless, conflicting advice can get me spinning in overwhelm. And I bet you have been there too.
Women founders in their 30s and 40s are especially susceptible because we’re at the intersection of two things:
An endless stream of business advice. From TikTok to masterminds to AI-generated plans, there are about a bazillion “must-do” strategies.
High personal stakes. My clients aren’t just building businesses for fun — they’re building them to support families, model leadership for their kids, and create meaningful lives.
The outcome? We drown in “shoulds.” And the irony is, the more information we gather, the less confident we feel about what to do next. Isn’t it supposed to work the other way around? Haven’t we always been taught that research and information make us smarter, more equipped to make better decisions?
So how can we stop spinning in overwhelm?
The Power of a Decision Filter
It turns out that the entrepreneurs who thrive aren’t the ones who consume the most advice. They’re the ones who know how to filter through the tsunami of information and focus on what works for them.
A decision filter is a simple framework — 2 or 3 guiding criteria — that you run every new idea through before deciding whether it’s worth your time. Instead of asking, “Is this a good strategy?” (because the answer is almost always yes for someone), you ask, “Is this the right strategy for me, right now?”
Here’s how to build one.
Step 1: Identify Your Core Values
What matters most to you in this season of life and business? Think beyond revenue for a second. For example, your top values might be:
Flexibility. You want to be available for family, which means strategies that require you to be “on” 24/7 won’t fit.
Connection. You thrive when you can go deep with clients, not just chase vanity metrics.
Sustainability. You’re not looking for overnight wins, you want something that builds long-term.
Your values act like guardrails. They keep you from saying yes to strategies that look shiny but don’t align with how you actually want to live. (For a list of values, check out this worksheet from Brene Brown. When I work with coaching clients 1:1, we almost always start with this tool.)
Step 2: Clarify Your Stage of Business
Different stages require different strategies. If you’re still in the building phase, pouring money into a complicated ad funnel doesn’t make sense. If you’re scaling with a small team, DIY-ing everything is no longer sustainable.
Ask yourself: What stage am I in right now, and what’s the single biggest priority?
Early stage? Focus on client acquisition.
Growth stage? Focus on systems and repeatability.
Scaling stage? Focus on team and leadership.
Knowing your stage narrows your options dramatically.
Step 3: Define Success for This Season
Here’s where many women founders get tripped up. We borrow someone else’s definition of success — 7 figures, a huge following, working 4 hours a week — without stopping to ask: What does success look like for me, right now?
If you want to go deeper, ask yourself instead, What does happiness look like for me, right now? What do I need for/from my business to find a greater sense of contentment in life in general? After all, your business is there to support your life, not the other way around. This framing helps us keep that in perspective.
Maybe success for you is hitting a revenue milestone. Maybe happiness is being able to take Fridays off with your kids. Maybe success and happiness is launching a new offer without burning out. When you define what you really want, decisions get simpler.
Step 4: Combine into a Filter
Now, put it all together. Your filter might look like this:
Does this align with my value of flexibility?
Does this make sense for my growth stage?
Does this support my definition of success/happiness — working fewer hours per week while growing revenue?
If the answer is no to any of these, you have your answer.
Why This Works
When you use a decision filter, you cut through the noise. You stop chasing strategies that aren’t meant for you. And you make choices faster, with less second-guessing.
Instead of agonizing for days over whether you should launch a podcast, you run it through your filter:
Flexibility? Nope — it would require weekly deadlines you don’t want.
Growth stage? Maybe, but your biggest priority is client acquisition, and a podcast won’t deliver that immediately.
Success definition? Doesn’t fit right now.
Decision made: not this season. You can revisit it later.
The relief is immediate. You’re no longer wasting hours researching microphones and editing software. You’ve freed up mental energy to put toward strategies that actually move you forward. Keep in mind that overwhelm is not a sign of failure. It’s a signal that you’re letting too many voices in. I love Brene Brown’s adage that the number of people whose opinions matter should fit on a one-inch square piece of paper. That’s your decision filter at work.
Your Turn
If you’ve been spinning in overwhelm, here’s your assignment:
Write down your top 3 values for this season.
Name your stage of business and your #1 priority.
Define success and/or happiness for the next 6–12 months.
When the very next “should” or piece of well-meaning friendly advice comes your way, run it through the filter.. And if it doesn’t pass the test? Let it go. Keep scrolling (or better yet, tell Instagram you’ve seen too many ads like this recently.) Delete the email. Close the tab. Release yourself from the endless spiral.
If you build your filter, I’d love to know what’s on it. What values guide you? How are you defining success/happiness right now? Share with me — I promise, putting it into words is powerful.
Because here’s the truth: the world doesn’t need you chasing every trend. Neither does your ideal customer, and definitely not your family. The world needs you building your business in a way that’s true to you.
P.S. If you want support in clarifying your values, defining success, and building a filter that actually works for you, that’s exactly what I help women founders create in coaching. Reach out if you’d like to explore how.